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FUMARE

Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Not Very Cutie

Fr. Alberto Cutie, aka "Fr. Miami Vice," has announced that in the aftermath of being photographed on the beach with his hand down the pants of a woman, that he has decided to retreat into a life of penance and prayer, mortification and renunciation to make up for the scandal and damage he has caused the Church and his family. 

So today he has made known his intentions to leave the Catholic Church, the one true Bride of Christ, to become an Episcolpalian where he can have the option of putting his hand down the pants of a woman or man on the beach, in the Church or anywhere (it being an inclusive big-tent kind of Christian family) while still calling himself a priest. 

Refering to his vows of celibacy as a "promise," Cutie affirmed his love of the Catholic Church and his new mission to lead his many fans away from Holy Mother Church. 

In other news, Cuban men all across Miami have left their wives and families to shack up with the neighbor's wife and family in an act of solidarity with Cutie. One middle-aged Cuban said, "I love my wife and family, but I want to start today with a new wife and family - just like Fr. Cutie." 

Sources close to Bishop Gene Robinson report that talks are underway with the Obama Administration to secure a place for Fr. Cutie within the Office of Faithbased and Community Based Initiatives. 

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