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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A Plea to the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick (NYC)

A loyal FUMARE reader has brought the following item to our attention. It seems that Mr. Thomas Monaghan, Chancellor of Ave Maria University and Sometime Fellow of Dominick's Pizza, Ypsilanti, Michigan, will be joining two-time Tony Award winner and Rambo foe, Brian Dennehy for the 225th Anniversary Dinner of the Society. Festivities will take place this Tuesday, St. Patrick's Day, with a reception at 6:15pm and Dinner at 7:00pm sharp.

For those unfamiliar with the Friendly Sons, they are an eminent group of Irish men noted for their good works and for being a tough room at their annual St. Paddy's Day festivities. Many a speaker lacking in both wit and blarney hath fallen to the violent mob of Friendly Sons. We don't fear for Mr. Dennehy--for he single-handedly took on a bad-ass Vietnam Vet and chased him through the woods of the Northwest. (Courage that!) Nor do we fear for His Eminence, Cardinal Eagan. Though he sounds like the Beatles' Abbey Road Album famously played backward for the "Paul is dead" message, he will not receive the customary mocking that another endowed with the same tonal quality in his speech would. No, he is a Prince of the Church, and thus insulated from the customary opprobrium.

But Mr. Monaghan? We fear for his success. While he his full of blarney, we are concerned that he has not the wit to withstand what may be his toughest bored room. Vic Melfa just asked questions; these guys throw chairs! Nick Healy, President of AMU, is compliant and holds hands at Mass; Nick Healy, FDNY Ladder 12 (Queens) and Friendly Son, is known as the "mean dad" on his block and can down a pint of Bushmills. Yes, laddies and lassies, this will have to be the performance of a lifetime for Mr. Monaghan.

Thus, we ask the Friendly Sons, in the spirit of Hibernian hospitality, go easy on Mr. Monaghan. Shout not: "May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat!" Sit on your chairs, don't throw them; and if you must curse, for love of Pete, curse the Queen.