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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

AMSOL Students: Save Our Pool, With Modesty!

NAPLES, FL (AP) - The students of Ave Maria School of Law, Vineyards Campus celebrated their last pool side party at the St. Thomas Moore Commons swimming pool before the pool is filled in next semester at the direction of law school owner and operator Thomas Monaghan. Monaghan is shutting the pool down for being an occasion of immodesty that promotes lustful leering.

In a last ditch effort to convince Monaghan that the pool is not an occasion for immodesty and sinful leering, the students organized a Christmas party at the pool to show how the St. Thomas Moore Commons swimming pool is an indispensable part of rebuilding the sense of lost community and morale at the floundering law school since the move to Naples. The students hope to send the message that men and women can swim together in purity as long as the women wear modest swimming suits.

"It is all about showing how we can be virtuous and modest in a co-ed swimming context," said Jim Foxer, 3L one of the organizers of the event and swimming enthusiast. "Look, here are a bunch of fellas from the Moot Court Team singing Christmas carols, and having a bit of good clean fun and they don't even notice their fellow co-ed because she is wearing an Ave Maria Wholesome Wear Swimming Suit. Mr. Monaghan has nothing to worry about. " - referring to the selection of swim suits that the Ave Maria Women's Law Society has made available to the women in the Ave Maria Community.

"I find that I respect a woman more when she is covered up," said Ernie Keester a second year law student. "It is one of the insights that Tom Monaghan had about women that is really inspired."

"I find the Ave Maria Wholesome Wear swimsuits very slimming," said Keera McFlynn, a first year law student. "No, I don't think they demean women. I think they liberate men to see the real me inside."

Not all the students joined in the fun. One students offered the following under condition of anonymity, "First we are told that we are moving to Ave Maria Town, and that is why they destroyed the law school in Ann Arbor - for a great new facility, made to order. Now we have been planted in this rejected old-folks home, the Vineyards Campus, where all the available housing is owned by Tom Monaghan, so we pay him twice, once for tuition and then again for housing."

He continued, "So now he is taking away the only decent amenity that we have to keep us cool on a hot day (which is just about EVERY DAY down here!), because he has a hangup about seeing the back of women's knees!?! But what really drives me nuts is seeing idiots like Jim Foxer prance around trying to please Monaghan and suck up to this nut job in the hope that he will look kindly on their interests. I can't believe they actually got a women to put one of those things on."

The pool was originally planned to be filled in before the arrival of students at the new Vineyards Campus, but due to lack of funds, the project was pushed back several months.

When contacted and asked about the swimming pool controversy at the Vineyards, Mr. Monaghan remarked, "Do I own a Vineyard? I don't know if I do. Are you sure I own one? Where do I live?"

Acting Dean Milhizer when asked about the swimming pool controversy said, "We value all our students. Some people swim, some people don't. In fact, many students are transferring to our law school because we are filling in the swimming pool."

When asked if the Board of Governors was reconsidering the decision to fill in the swimming pool because of the outpouring of student interest in keeping the pool, Acting Dean Milhizer said, "I don't believe Tom Monaghan has changed his mind about it."