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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Fumare Interviews Ave Maria Supporters

(Ave Maria supporters pictured left to right: Brandie Rabinowitz, Gay Antonelli, Jamie Finkel, and Roberta Klucinich.)

Naples (AP)--In order to get a more balanced picture of the controversies swirling around Mr. Thomas Monaghan and the various Ave Maria entities, FUMARE correspondent, Lucia Feruzzi, interviewed supporters of Mr. Monaghan and Ave Maria. Ms. Feruzzi met these supporters outside the clothier Hot Topic at the Coastland Center, a Naples area shopping mall, and discussed the issues.

Feruzzi: Ladies, I want to thank you for this opportunity to meet with you and get your thoughts.

Brandie: No problem.

Gay: Totally.

Jamie: It's, like, so important to clear these things up.

Roberta: You are, like, so right Jamie.

Feruzzi: Yesterday, AveWatch.com broke the story that AMU officials compromised the personal information of students in violation of FERPA by posting student grades on the internet in a manner accessible to the general public. What are your thoughts on that?

Roberta: That is, like, so totally not true. I mean, those AveWatch jerks, like, totally hacked into the university's website. I mean, its, like, so obvious. My friend NickH told me on my Facebook page. We were totally talking about it.

Jamie: Yeah, it's like, oh my god, these Fumare and AveWatch trolls just hate the mission of the school. It's so sad.

Gay: Totally.

Feruzzi: Well, I really appreciate your oppenness in talking to me.

Brandie: No problem. You're a woman, so you can, like, totally understand our position.

Ferruzzi: Let me switch gears. Another point of controversy as of late is the proposed Oratory. Some have called it "the Whoratory," "Tom's Tomb," and others have likened it to a salmon steak. The reason for the criticism is because of the uncertainty of its status in the Church and the requisite approvals from the Diocese. Do you think this is fair?

Roberta: Oh my god, no way! There are so many great things going on in Ave Maria Town. It is, like, so beautiful and such a great place to be. And, it's, like, early still, you know, in its, like, being set up, so there isn't, like, an Abercrombie yet, but it's like so beautiful. I would toootallly want to live there after the Abercrombie moves in!

Jamie: And the nuns there are sooooo sweet. They are so cute walking, like, outside with their nun clothes. It's totally cool, cuz, my BFF Jill was, like, 'wow, I never saw a dressed up nun! I thought that was only in, like, old movies!' It's sooo awesome.

Gay: Totally.

Feruzzi: Um, ladies, you didn't really answer my question--about the Oratory?

Roberta: Um, why do you have such an attitude?

Feruzzi: No, I'm just curious---

Jamie: You are, like, totally being rude!

Feruzzi: No...I...

Gay: Totally.

Brandie: I really think that you need to accentuate, like, the positive. No one wants to hang around with, like, total babies.

Roberta: Yeah, totally. Like, my dad, is a lawyer and in Legatus and he totally supports Mr. Monaghan and the, like, Ave Maria stuff. It's totally Catholic and, like, anyone who says its not is, like, totally uninformed. And the law school thing is, like, a bunch of babies crying.

Jamie: Um, are we done? I totally have some shopping to do.

Gay: Totally.