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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Deposition of Thomas Monaghan

I know all having been waiting patiently for this. You will now be rewarded for your endurance! Fumare's crack investigators have acquired part of the deposition transcript of Hail Mary Chairman Thomas Monaghan. As soon as we have a full transcript we will make it available to you.

Ms. Gordon, Plaintiff's Attorney (DG): Good morning, Mr. Monaghan.

Mr. Fink, Monaghan's Attorney (KF): [softly to Monaghan] Don't answer that.

Thomas Monaghan (TM): uh...[clears throat]

DG: Karl, I think that we should all just relax here and get comfortable because we are going to be here for a long time.

KF: We are here to be as helpful as possible.


DG: Mr. Monaghan, is it true that you have opined publicly on women's dress in your governance of the Ave Maria entities, to include Ave Maria School of Law?

TM: ...uh...What do you mean by women?...

DG: Mr. Fink, I'm going to have to ask you to instruct....

TM: ...becuase I don't think that some of those people are women.

DG: What people?

TM: Well, everybody knows that the most unattractive part of a woman is the back of her knees...

DG: What?

TM: Yes...

DG: Mr. Monaghan, I have no idea what you are talking about. Can you elaborate on your "philosophy of female knees?"

KF: Objection. Deb, what's the relevance of this line of questioning?

DG: Ask your client, he opened the door.

KF: May I have a moment? [confers with TM] Go ahead, Tom.

TM: I don't understand what you mean by "philosophy?"

DG: Do you know what philosophy means?

TM: uh...


DG: Isn't it true that you wrote Pizza Tiger?

TM: I don't understand what you mean.

DG: You wrote a book did you not?

TM: uh... I don't recall.

DG: You owned the Detroit Tigers didn't you?

TM: uh...yeah.

DG: And you founded and owned Domino's Pizza isn't that correct?

TM: uh....yeah. 30 minutes or less.

DG: Now, Pizza Tiger--the book that you wrote--is a title that incorporates your experience in business?

TM: uh...[confers with KF] yeah, I guess it is.

DG: And in that book, you recount that you made money for all the wrong reasons, correct?

TM: uh...


DG: Now, what exactly is your relationship to the Ave Maria School of Law?

TM: uh...[confers with KF] Chairman of the Board?

DG: Are you asking me or telling me?

TM: uh...[confers with KF]...telling you.

DG: Who else serves on the Board of Governors?

TM: uh...well it changes a lot--

KF: --uh, Tom..Deb, you know who is on the Board, it is published.

DG: I just wanted to know if Mr. Monaghan knows who's on the Board. He doesn't seem to remember that he wrote Pizza Tiger, I think this is a fair line of questioning.

TM: Grrrrr.....

DG: Court reporter, let the record reflect that the Pizza Tiger just growled at me. Spelled: G-R-R-R-R-R.