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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Monaghan Whipping Boy: "I'm back and I'm glad."

Fr. Joseph Fessio, S.J. tells reporters that he is delighted to be Mr. Monaghan's whipping boy. President Nick Healy sitting closer to Monaghan.

Ave Maria Town (AP)--In another act that demonstrates the competence of the Ave Maria Empire, the Naples News is reporting that less than 24 hours after his firing, Fr. Fessio is back on the job...as resident theologian. "The resident theologian is a time-honored position in Catholic universities, " stated Br. Francois de la Croix, FHV of the Fraternitas Hiberniae Vacerrosi, a new religious order established for the support of Ave Maria Town. "Resident theologian positions are generally given to individuals who distinguish themselves in some way. His briefs did it!" The briefs that Br. de la Croix refers to are the "legal briefs" that Fr. Fessio mentioned with regard to the controversy-stricken Ave Maria School of Law. "We are delighted that a mutual understanding could be reached and that Father will continue his obsequium religiosum," continued de la Croix. Yet some Ave watchers are skeptical. "What the F*$%? The priest is utterly shat upon and he comes back? Talk about issues," said Robert Patton, a first year university student who is transferring to the University of Notre Dame. This view is echoed by Fr. Thomas Greer, S.J., an elderly Jesuit who has been watching this saga closely. "When Ignatius wrote his 'rules for thinking with the Church,' he didn't equate the Church with Tom Monaghan! Fessio has lost it--big tough guy when it comes to fat women and inclusive language, but a real pansy when it comes to rich so-called conservative guys!" Fr. Greer is a retired classics professor who has spent the later years of his priesthood offering Mass and hearing confessions at a nearby military installation.