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FUMARE

Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Pinocchio

The FUMARE Faithful are innumerable and we get many submissions to post. Of course, we have a discriminating palate, as do our readers; accordingly, only the finest of posts will do. I found this particular submission to be excellent and worthy of your consideration. Our loyal reader who submitted it has a fertile mind and a happy heart, let us call him Frater Reginaldus.


Special Command Performance!
Today and Tomorrow Only!

Ave Maria School of Law Features
An American Bar Association Production
Of a Tom Monaghan Play
Written by Tom Monaghan
Directed by Tom Monaghan
Produced by Tom Monaghan
=====
A Tom Monaghan Adaptation
Of

PINOCCHIO




"Please Blue Fairy, Make Me a Real Law School ..."

Starring

The American Bar Association .................as............ The Blue Fairy
Ave Maria School of Law ...........................as............ Pinocchio
A Substantial Majority of the Faculty ......as............. Geppetto
Fumare ......................................................as............. Jiminy Cricket
Bernard Dobranski ....................................as............. Stromboli
Thomas Monaghan ....................................as............. Monstro


Also appearing

Thomas Read and James White .................as............ Foulfellow and his Mute Friend Gideon
Naples, Florida.............................................as ............ Pleasure Island
Fr. Michael Orsi ...........................................as............. The Coachman
Jim Sonne and Gene Milhizer ......................as............. Lampwick and Alexander (Little Boys turned into Donkeys)
Board of Governors.......................................as.......Pleasure Island Donkey Extras
Rosanne Green and Ermin Gornik ..............as ....... Figaro and Cleo

Synopsis:

Geppetto creates Pinocchio and wants him to be a real law school. But Stromboli tries to lead him off to Pleaure Island, and Monstro tries to kill Geppetto while risking his life to save Pinocchio. Pinocchio is tempted to go along, but the ABA Blue Fairy and Jiminy Cricket help him in his time of need. Finally, Pinocchio becomes a real ABA accredited law school, though not without trial and risk of his own life.

Memorable Quotes:

-------
Blue Fairy: "A boy who won't abide by the Standards for Approval, might just as well be made of wood."
------
Jiminy Cricket: :"Pinocchio! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real law school? Look at yourself."
------
The Coachman: "Give a bad Dean enough rope, and he'll soon make a jackass of himself."
------
Blue Fairy: "Now, remember, Pinocchio, be a good law school. And always let your faculty be your guide."
------
Blue Fairy: "A violation of Standards keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face
------
Lampwick and Alexander: "Hi-didely-day, a sychophant's life is gay."
------
Alexander: Please, please, I don't wanna be a donkey! Let me outta here! The Coachman: [cracks his whip] Quiet! You boys have had your fun. Now pay for it!

Special Cameos:

Alumni Board President Alex Vernon and Socialite Paris Hilton...you'll have to wait and see where they appear!

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