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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Seismic Activity Detects Spin Machine(s)

ANN ARBOR (al Managhanimed) Michigan seismic centers have reported that late yesterday irregular seismic activity was triangulated to be sourced in north Ann Arbor township. Several theories exist as to the nature of the cause.

Local coney island owner, Sharif Yasoud, reports "I could detect something was wrong because of ripples in the chili and waves on top of the sodas we were serving." He continued to say, "I think there is some big machine running somewhere nearby because it feels like a big vacuum machine running."

Yasoud's instincts may be correct as speculation from NATO command confirms the fingerprint of the seismic activity to coincide with operation of an early model Russian-made spin cipher machine. Scientists for the central command explained.

Dr. Ari Farsberg, explained the nature of the machine and what its purpose was. "This appears to be the signature of the operation of a model R-014 Russian Datschik mobile communication device." Farsberg said this machine was an early model spin machine that can accept facts, communications, and desired output bias and craft responses intended to discredit or misdirect the statements of others.

File Photo of Datschik "brains" (courtesy NASA)

Military historian and professor, Dr. Lauri Lawollier, explained that the machine has several components that require human interaction at a primitive keyboard, radio communications, and a central "thinking sphere" within which ideas are bounced around for processing. Lawollier explained the idea was that certain key facts get lost in the sphere during processing which creates obfuscating replies. When a third party sees the input and response, they may be lead by the response to think that the input was insufficient or misguided because the machine ignores the dropped facts.

File Photo of R-014 "Thinking Sphere" (courtesy DOD)

"Very clever device for its time!" says Dr. Chung Leopang, intelligence analyst and technology consultant. "However, this model has long been outdated and outmoded. For any situation, our analysts can predict its output far in advance of operation."

File Photo of R-014 Operator at Keypad (courtesy NASA)

For instance, Leopang said that if it is told to process an input representing evidence of malfeasance, it will spit out at least one comment that the knowledge itself was precious and intended for a different purpose. Then, it will discredit the persons who know the information by insinuating conspiracies against good causes. It does this not by direct language, but by inference and dropped facts. Lastly, it will present irrelevant facts that attempt to stretch the assertion into issues where it calculates public sympathy to rest.

Leopang added, "it's a long process, however. Usually the machine needs over 24 hours to process simple inputs into spun outputs." NATO estimates that, given that the first seismic reports show start-up after 5:17 pm yesterday, the machine will be unable to render responses until later today. Some expect two machines operating on contingencies.

Leopang, thinks the machines may try a typical trick of blaming some other machine for delayed responses when an input is expected earlier.

Given the age of the technology and the machines, NATO expects that the output will be unruly and full of yarn. Some experts, including Leopang, think that the machine will attempt to mimic the input and claim technology prevented timely output.