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FUMARE

Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Friday Afternoon Post: Men vs. Sissies

In never ceases to amaze me what "little girls" Catholic men can be. Gone are the days of the stern Catholic father who was a loving taskmaster and called his family and especially his children to high standards. Instead we are treated today to a entree of syrup and jello in men's dealings with one another and the larger world. My intent in this post is not to give an exhuastive explicatio of the genesis of this phenomenon--that would be far too long for a blog post. Suffice it to say that the problem affects not just Catholic men, but men in general. My observations here are designed merely to identify certain types and to possibly be of some help for those men who need to find and re-attach their testicles.

The Fogelbergians. This type of man is the emotional type. The music of Dan Fogelberg is the anthem of this crowd. He cries, emotes, likes to have long conversations with his women friends and rarely takes a stand. He is utterly subservient to women and their needs, wants and desires. He will rarely take on a woman in an argument. The Catholic Fogelbergian will often facilitate the fat women in stretch pants in their dominance of "ministries" at the parish level. The Catholic Fogelbergian is often pro-life, but even there he argues the issue as primarily harmful to women and not as murder of a human person. This type often has latent belief--though often not expressed--that the story of history is the story of animal-like men preying upon hapless women; a situation he sees himself as remedying in his small way.

The Testy Teetotaller. This type of man is the one who shuns the pleasures of the vine (or barley or cane). Strong drink is not for him. Oftentimes this type is a convert to the faith from some Protestant denomination. He is missing out on one of the essentials of Western Civilization and embodies a unhealthy fear of "demon rum." Blood of Christ, inebriate me is a prayer he will not say. These poor gents have a difficult time engaging in spirited conversation and comraderie. They also have a less than full understanding of the faith and the culture which she built. They share an affinity with the next type--the Moody Manichaean.

The Moody Manichaean. Talk about a real hoot! Probably some of the most miserable of the types of men profiled here. This guy exalts temperance over all of the other virtues, to the point of shunning the pleasurable things of this world. To him, there is just a tinge of sin in things that are material and pleasurable. He will not laugh at the eminently laughable. "Fat lady in stretch pants" is not an accurate appellation and humorous truth to be acknowledged, but rather an un-Christian attack upon the individual person. The Moody Manichaean will often shun the pleasures of simple men--like beer and pretzels, football games, and movies like The Blues Brothers--and seek more exalted pastures. When discussing sex, he will not--like the normal man--say "hell yeah, it is a damn good time!" No, he will find some sort of spiritual reality to articulate the conjugal oneness of husband and wife and will wax philosophic on the Wojtylan theology of the body. (In other words, he chooses the most boring aspect of sex and gets an erection over it.)

The Canadian. I admit, this type might be offensive to the good Canadian men who are not of the sort that I am about to describe. Oh well. This type is the consummate pacifist (Neville Chamberlain is of this type.). Not unlike the prevailing Canadian attitude to all things, this is the man who sees himself as open to dialogue, all embracing and nonjudgemental. He will not take up arms to defend much other than people "getting along." Righteous anger is a good thing, but the Canadian selectively omits this from his worldview. In terms of siding with warring factions, he will inevitably want to appear "above the fray," but in so doing he will side with those who assault the important things. He will strive to be loving like the Saviour, but like the Fogelbergian, misunderstands what is caritas. Likewise, he tends to display a obsequiousness to power--an almost unquestioning subservience to credentialed individuals and the wealthy--even when the actions of these fly in the face of common sense.

A common feature of all of these types is a latent (and sometimes explicit) view of themselves as being "advanced," or "charitable," or above the gaucheness of common men. Likewise their tactics will include pointing to exalted figures and asking the straw man hypothetical of whether such people would "approve" of the activities or statements of the common man. Likewise, these types apply to both conservative and liberal men. Another common thread is the seeming inability to make a decision or take a stand. Bottom line: these guys resemble women more so than men. (Although good women can and do take a stand!)

This is but a small digest of what I perceive as certain types of sissies. There may be more types and further distinctions. I will leave this to my colleagues to flesh out. I purposely did not examine the phenomenon of the homosexual--specifically the self-described "gay." (That is a separate post in itself and would involve discussions of overbearing mothers, Judy Garland and a penchant for musicals.)

Suffice it to say, fishermen and soldiers tend to be good exemplars of what it means to be a man. I think our grandfathers in WWII understood this, as did Our Lord.


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