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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Fear and Loathing at the March for Life, or, AMSCOL Agonistes

Okay, I thought this was interesting. I recently spoke with a friend who belongs to AveMariaSingleCatholicsOnline. We don't see each other much since law school, but I was looking forward to seeing him at the March for Life in a few weeks. He was less excited about the prospect, and not just because I'm not always at my best in large social settings.

My friend tells me that he's been corresponding with a few women on this Catholic singles site. He's enjoying getting to know these women (I think we're talking about three, maybe four, all told, with whom he corresponds regularly), but he's not ready to commit to just one just yet. Not because he's a rake or anything, but because he doesn't know any of these women well enough to say, "Okay, she's the one." He's talked to some, but not all, of the women on the phone, but he's never met any of them in person. He considers them all friends (with him, not with each other) and is quite seriously, gentlemanly, and prayerfully seeking a spouse.

Is anyone still reading this? Thanks, Maltycakes. I shall continue just for you. So my friend goes to the March for Life every year and has told these women that such is his custom. I think most of the women go, too, and if one didn't, she saw it as a great opportunity for prayer, pilgrimage, and meeting my friend (to whom I really should have assigned a fake name earlier, but...), and she promptly signed up for a space on the parish bus.

So now these women are calling and e-mailing my friend, all excited that they are finally going to meet. ("They" meaning, to each woman in question, that woman and l'ami de Boko. Said ami fears "they are finally going to meet" signifies a rendevous rather less romantic and rather more filled with yelling and crying.)

My friend fears he may have to take sick to avoid a nightmare. I think the best course of action is to pray for wintery weather. My suggestion was bundling up in non-descript winter wear and furnishing oneself with a number of unique, brightly colored accessories, the number of which would correspond to the number of women involved. Then, with Boko running interference, my friend can be, alternatively and in quick succession, the guy in the bright orange ski cap, the guy in the flourescent green scarf, and the guy with the bright red mittens. I saw Peter and Bobby Brady pull this off once (they used a moustache instead of the winter accoutrements, but they lived in the Valley). I had to leave the show halfway through, but it seemed to be working and I'm sure it came off all right.

I tell this story not to trumpet the invaluabilitiness of mine own friendship, but, first, to request prayers for my friend and, B, to ask if this is a common dilemma. My friend (Have I given him a fake name yet? No? That's been bogging down the whole post.) was blindsided by this, but, having thought about it, we both wonder if this isn't rather common. Maybe everyone out there who received a Catholic singles membership from a well-wishing friend or nagging parent should put off the online introductions until January 23rd.