< link rel="DCTERMS.replaces" href="http://fumare.us/" > < meta name="DC.identifier" content="http://fumare.blogspot.com" > <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12407651\x26blogName\x3dFUMARE\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://fumare.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://fumare.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d6298351012122011485', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>


Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, January 26, 2007

AP Breaking: Suspicious Activity at Catholic Law School

Ann Arbor (AP)--In an unusual twist of events, sources tell AP that there was a flurry of activity around the Ave Maria School of Law last evening and early this morning. Dean Bernard Dobranski, usually known for his cool under pressure, was seen huddling with attorneys from Butzel Long and other advisors. Though the reasons for this clandestine activity are unknown, speculation is that it has something to do with the Falvey Report and and its release. Dean Dobranski has been under enormous pressure as of late to release this document, most recently from the blog Fumare whose readers span several continents and whose influence, according to a high ranking official in Vatican City, is "incalculable." Apparently, Fumare claims to have the document and is set to release it unless the Dean does so by 5:00pm EST today. According to Fumare:

we will offer him the opportunity to release the Falvey Report via email by
5:00pm Friday, as is his custom and wont to do with other important communiques.
Our magnanimity requires us to hold on to our copy and allow the Dean to
mitigate the damage so grievously inflicted upon his credibility and those he

"It was weird," said Louise Tarantino, cashier at Busch's Grocery store in Ann Arbor, recounting an encounter last evening at about 9:32pm. "The Dean came to my check out line with a cart full of Pepto-Bismol and Rolaids. His eyes looked darkend, and he kept, like, muttering somthing, like: 'the fumes, the fumes, rotten bastards, the fumes.' I called my manager because I was, like, so scared--besides there's a dance at Gabriel Richard tonight and I wouldn't want to miss that by, like, being killed or something!" Other witnesses recount similar strange events in today's early morning hours. "It was shocking!! I still can't believe it!"stated a 3L who wishes to remain anonymous. "I noticed the Dean coming to the law school much earlier than usual as I was making my early morning run. As I was turning down Green Road and finishing the second Sorrowful Mystery, I noticed Dobranski and several men with briefcases. I shouted his name and a 'top o'the mornin' and he...I still can't believe this...turned and flipped me off! I can't believe it! I mean, I don't write for Fumare, gimme a break! This guys is at his breaking point!" Flipping off is a colloquialism for raising the middle finger towards someone indicating that person's desire that the one flipped off should copulate with himself.

We contacted officials from Fumare who were not surprised and predicted that the Dean and his lawyers will be preparing a quick response should the Falvey Report be released by Fumare; or alternatively, a nice cover letter with the Report should the Dean choose to release it himself. Until that time the hostage clock continues. Mr. Monaghan was unavilable for comment as he was directing the acquisition of OFF! for the newly planned Ave Maria Town.