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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sorry, I don't celebrate Kwanzaa... I celebrate Festivus!!

Though many people have never heard of Kwanzaa, every year it gains a little more legitimacy. If you haven't heard of it yet, I guarantee you will in the future. Even President Bush recognizes Kwanzaa. What is Kwanzaa, you ask? It is an African-American holiday honoring "first fruits" celebrated from December 26 to January 1 every year. Kwanzaa celebrates 7 principles: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith. More information on Kwanzaa is available here on the official Kwanzaa website.

But hold on, wait a second... let me set the record straight. Kwanzaa is a bogus holiday. It has absolutely no basis in "African-American" culture. It is a made-up holiday invented by a certain Marxist named Ron (a.ka. Maulana) Karenga in California in 1966. Ron Karenga is a convicted felon (felony assault and false imprisonment) for torturing two black women with electrical cords, a karate baton, a soldering iron, and detergent. When Karenga invented Kwanzaa, he was the leader of a black power group called the "United Slaves" which participated in a 1969 lethal shootout with the rival "Black Panther Party." Karenga is quoted with saying:

People think it's African, but it's not. I came up with Kwanzaa because black people wouldn't celebrate it if they knew it was American. Also, I put it around Christmas because I knew that's when a lot of Bloods were partying.

There is no doubt that Karenga is an anti-Christian Marxist and created Kwanzaa in opposition to Christmas. In fact, the holiday of Festivus has more credibility than Kwanzaa. (After all, more people know about Festivus, Festivus has just as much foundation as Kwanzaa, and Festivus is not racist.)

So if someone wishes you a "Happy Kwanzaa," please disabuse them of their ridiculously mistaken belief. Here is how I plan on replying when someone wishes me a "Happy Kwanzaa":

"Happy Kwanzaa?? I am extremely offended by that. Kwanzaa is a silly made-up holiday, you dolt. Instead, I celebrate Festivus. Happy Festivus to you and yours!"