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FUMARE

Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Monday, August 28, 2006

A good organ is hard to find


In case you missed it, a unifying conference was held earlier this month in Sacramento, CA. Of course, it was only unifying if you toe the liturgical line endorsed by our good friend David Haas. Some of his thoughts are incisive enough to merit special distinction, so take a look:

Conference: "We need to resist going down the black hole of anger regarding how we translate our texts, what we will sing, or which musical styles are most appropriate for our Masses"

Translation: "If everyone would just follow accept that I have the authority to change every hymn you've ever sung to neuter it and otherwise make it unpalatable and ungainly, we'd get along much better. Come on, I wrote 'Blest are they'. Like Tantum Ergo compares to that!"

Conference: 1) Haas urged music leaders to reject "musical snobbery of any kind"; 2) to expand their parishes' musical repertoire beyond "what you like"; 3) and to learn from their assemblies and "listen to their voices," for the liturgical celebration is not about how well one sings or plays music. " 4) As pastoral musicians, we must decrease and our assemblies must increase"

Translation: 1) It doesn't matter if it's good, it's what we gave you; 2) expand your horizons until it includes Haas and Haugen- that's far enough, and then let's eliminate most everything up to that point too; 3) listen to the people in the pews unless they're music snobs who haven't sufficiently broadened their musical horizons to include poorly played pithy music; 4) In fact, we've decreased so much you better put us right next to the alter so everyone knows exactly whose mustache quivers at every high 'f'.

I'd include more, but I'll let you read while I get back to practicing the kazoo for our next church music fund raiser at the piggly-wiggly. Let's not forget about royalties!

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