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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Monday, August 14, 2006


To Mz. [name], self-titled priest:

Grace and peace from God our Father,
we your humble servants send,
and our true Mother, Mary Blessed:
may her prayers to you extend.

Recall our previous exhortation
where we explained the Church's view
that male-exclusive ordination
is willed by Christ, but not for you.

With great distress we have discovered
your voyage on the Monongahe'
where you and other stubborn women
mimicked priestly rites at sea.

We must explain that your position
and your ill-fated expedition
require penance and contrition
to our Heavenly Physician,
and lead us to a tragic course
which we regret, but must enforce.

Since you knew your situation
when attempting ordination,
we, in thorough consultationwith your Bishop [insert See],
now impose excommunication
under canon 1319.

From Eucharist you must refrain
and other liturgy withdraw;
From parish office now abstain
and sacramentals, sayeth the law.

We hope for reconciliation
which you may seek in expiation
by calling us at this location
(but not next week, we're on vacation).

Given in Rome, this 14th day of August, in the Year of Our Lord 2006, the Feast of St. Maximilian Mary Kolbe.

William Cardinal Levada

Congregatio Pro Doctrina Fidei

*Thanks to all contestants in the inaugural FUMARE reader's contest. After a painstaking process of separating the wheat from the chaff, and having wept at the beauty of some of the notifications, the judges have deemed GenXSurvivor to be the winner and reigning canonical, theological and poetical guru amongst FUMARE readers. Though we were disappointed that he chose not to use dactylic hexameter, his poetic skill rivals that of The Poet himself. GenXSurvivor will be receiving his prize via U.S. Mail later this week--that prize being 2 copies of Dominus Iesus (one in Latin and the other in English) and the guide "How to Smoke a Pipe." We hope that GenXSurvivor will profit from these prizes and that it will enhance his forthcoming contributions to FUMARE. Thanks to all our contestants!!