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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Sr. Benedict's Boxing Club: Join Now and Take Advantage of Summer Discounts--Only $19.95 Per Session

Do any of the following apply to you:

Then chances are, you've been pummeled in the schoolyard--or are in imminent danger of it!


With Sr. Mary Benedict's 3 week boxing course you will be in fighting trim to take down any heretic, Islamofascist or--better yet--some goofy Catholic who thinks that we can solve problems in the middle east by dialogue with the people of goodwill who are the leaders of Hamas, Hezbollah and Al Qaeda!

Sister takes you through the "crawl, walk and run" phases of her nationally recognized program:

Week I: Crawl--basic Latin; introduction to Thomistic Metaphysics; boxing fundamentals: hands up, jab, blocking a punch

Week II: Walk--intermediate Latin; the political thought of Bellarmine, Suarez, and Vitoria; combination of punches, the dissuasive jab, feinting to the solar plexus, feinting

Week III: Run--Latin composition; the Decrees of the Fourth Lateran Council and The Council of Trent, Encyclicals of John Paul II; Reagan's National Security Strategy 1986; bobbing and weaving, working off the ropes, sparring with Sister.


"I'll admit it: I used to be a hand holding, 'Table of Plenty'-singing goofball! In large part, I think it was due to my parents--my dad never showed me how to throw a right hook and mom was a campus minister. One day I got into a fight over whether the prudential decision to go to war lies with the Pope or the head of state. Things got rather heated and I quoted Paul VI and said 'War--never again.' Then it happened--POW! 2 hours later I found myself in the campus ministry office--broken and bloody nose--being attended to by some woman with a nosering and black lipstick. That experience was a metanoia for me. I don't remember my adversary's name, but I'll never forget her face. That's when I woke up and smelled the coffee! I immediately signed up for Sr. Benedict's course and voila! She made me the man that I am today! Thanks...er...'gratias tibi', Sister!" ---John, Poughkeepsie, NY