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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

New Orleans, Halliburton, and . . . Dick Cheney

I think it's time to start asking the tough questions regarding Hurricane Katrina and the federal government's response to the crisis.

First, where is Dick Cheney? Methinks it is just a little too convenient that Vice-President Cheney has not been visibly involved in the relief efforts. Of course, the answer to the question is obvious. Cheney has been working behind the scenes for years with the military and . . . (you guessed it) Halliburton in order to "steer" hurricanes toward the Gulf, and especially New Orleans. By using this super-secret technology to steer the hurricanes toward the Gulf, Cheney planned to disrupt the flow of oil, thereby causing gas prices to skyrocket. It is now all too clear that Cheney's plan was a success, and that he generated this disaster in order to further line his pockets (and Halliburton's) with more oil profits.

Second, where is Pat Robertson? The Republican Party's Spokesman is also nowhere to be seen. The truth is that Robertson and his fundamentalist friends have been calling for the assassination of New Orleans for years. Their plan was simple. Eliminate the Big Easy, then relocate their headquarters to the "New" New Orleans in order to capitalize on New Orleans' superior location for distributing Robertson's weight loss shakes to the rest of the world.

It's only a matter of time before the rest of the world catches up to these two sinister, Republican plotters. I, for one, will not sit idly by as their plots come to fruition. They must be stopped before they strike again.

(Oh yeah, does anyone know where John Roberts was the night Chief Justice Rehnquist died? This is a legitimate question that must be asked at the confirmation hearings. I hope the Democratic Senators don't wimp out. It's also a little suspicious that this hurricane thing would completely supersede Roberts' confirmation hearings. But I'm not going to jump to conclusions.)