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Law, culture, and Catholicism...up in smoke!

Friday, May 13, 2005

Fr. Reese was only one of many.

Did you see this press clipping?

ROME (AP) April 20. All belts, shoelaces, and razor blades have been taken away from the city's 200-odd Jesuits this evening as consequence of the election of Pope Benedict XVI, and fully a third are under heavy sedation, according to sources inside the Vatican's Santo Spirito Hospital. "We thought it was only prudent, in view of > the Holy Father's association with the document Dominus Iesus," admitted Sister Stanislava Mruk, infirmarian at the Pontifical Gregorian University, "and besides, all our Valium was used up by Tuesday dinnertime. Tragically, the precautions were introduced too late for some. "It looks like someone dropped a couple pans of mostaccioli on the Piazza della Pilotta," said Fr. Paul Mackowsky, sub-refectorian at the Jesuit Biblical Institute (locally known as the "Orientale"), "But in fact, it turns out the Rembert Weakland Professor of Catholic Social Thought took a header off the roof of the Greg. His valet too." Neighbors expressed concerns about parking and traffic disruption as a result of the deaths. Health professionals are investigating the use of aromatherapy in facilitating "the healing process."